… which are actually from my stream of consciousness while reading this article:
1. From this article, Gottlieb, while a realist and spouting totally rational advice, sounds like a bitter old hag that gambled on the traditional passionate storybook romance and lost. Now that she missed out on perfectly reasonable guys, she’s pissed that her Mom or Grams didn’t tell her to lock it down. Thanks feminism!
2. I have to admit that we are completely inundated with these unrealistic ideas of what marriage/romance should be. I actually just watched the Ugly Truth and that movie, while corny at times and still very much a chick-flick, has a lot of truth in it about men and women and how we each generally deal with the opposite sex. Girls have crazy expectations for guys. But honestly, if they didn’t? We (guys) would all be way lamer. Sex is an amazing motivator. Thanks, ladies.
3. How did people fall in love and live happily every after in the old days. Most of them were probably arranged marriages (to benefit one or both of the families) or you picked the best option for you of the dozen potential mates within a 20 mile radius. Then you were either unhappy for the rest of your life or you learned to love the person… or you became a nun or priest. Sure love stories existed, but it wasn’t realistic (maybe like 0.01% of the time?). You needed to get married early or you were f’d. You didn’t have options. You made due with the resources you had available.
4. Kids today are spoiled. You don’t get to have everything you want just because you think you deserver it. That includes love. Just because you have a vagina doesn’t mean you’re entitled to a Prince Charming. Guys, you’re not innocent either. Just because you have a dick doesn’t mean she wants it.
5. You need to punch your weight. Guys… you will not marry a Victoria Secret model. Girls… you will not marry… whatever it is that girls dream of… I don’t know… Dr. Collin.
(Back to the article… I got distracted…)
6. I’ve advocated before and I’ll say it again because I stick by it… Never settle. You should never be with someone that’s not good for you. I’d rather be alone than be in a relationship that’s going to suck the life out of me because that person turns out to not be a good match. Learn to make yourself happy. Change your attitude.
7. I don’t like that this article’s title is “Wise girls settle for Mr. Good Enough”. This is probably just semantics at this point, but Mr. Good Enough? While not flashy, he sounds pretty fucking awesome. Not to be all cocky, but I’m pretty sure I could be “good enough” for a shit ton of women. That’s kind of comforting… except most people don’t want good enough. So much for that idea.
8. Most of the time, we don’t know what we want. When we are in high school and college, our hormones are going crazy. We want to get down, not think about stability, jobs, kids. Chances of landing a suitable life mate that early? Pretty low. Plus, most of us have busted love maps. So many times we are attracted to people that are absolutely horrible for us but we can’t look away because they harbor some trait that we can’t ignore. I’m not surprised our divorce rates are so high.
9. Up until recently, I totally thought I wanted that epic love story. I totally got suckered in. Fucking marketing. But honestly? I’ve had love affairs based on passion. They were nice and I’ll look back on them fondly. But no more. They couldn’t last. I want something real.
10. It’s amazing how motivated by sex we are. So much of life’s troubles are routed in love/sex. Like Nietzsche said, “Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.” Damn they are so f’ing cute though.
(Getting back to article…)
11. WTF. I’m not even a girl and this article is making me depressed. I’m 25 and I am now terrified of being alone for the rest of my life.
12. It’s all about expectation management.
13. I need to stop reading articles like this. Especially while I’m not dating.
That is a depressing article. I stopped after a few paragraphs. I know that if I ever considering settling for someone, then that person is not the person to settle with. I agree, I’d rather be alone than settle to be with someone that isn’t a great match. You’ve always got friends. That is, if they don’t brush you off to the side for the one they’re dating.
